Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
The word choice implies that this piece is very deep. While it is confusing at times, it is fun to think about what the words could mean.
Each line seems to need an explanation. If each line was drawn out into two, for example, the reader may be able to take in the details better and not be overwhelmed.
Overall, this piece sounds beautiful. If your aim was to mystify, you did that extremely well. This could be written to be more engaging and clear, if I were to give any criticism.