Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
I like the plot and the crash into reality and even then it seems a bit surreal. Keeps the reader uncertain.
Lily's emotion really speak clearly, especially in the last line. If I had to name two emotions it's perhaps Hope and Despair
It makes the character more intriguing to the reader- It gave the story 'good' confusion as in it drew me in rather than lost me.
First feedback so sorry if it's not great XD Think we are similar ages? Really liked the idea btw, although felt it need some description built up. I usually do that with my writing, first write the story with all the actions (the skeleton essentially) then go over to pump in the detail- although this piece would only need a little bit added in my opinion as improvement :) Really liked it though!