Peer Review by WaitingForKairos (United Kingdom)

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A Fairy's Life

By: KizKatKet


PROMPT: Everyday Magic

    A fairy brushes Lily's cheek, and makes her flutter her eyes open. Small white fairies fly in the early morning breeze, like white dandelion seeds floating in the breeze. Lily giggled and reached out to touch one, for they always let her touch them. This time however it was different, because as soon as she went to reach for one, they all disappeared, along with the landscape around her. Surrounding her now, was a bright white room, and she couldn't move her arms. She felt gross, like she hadn't showered for days. And who knows, maybe she hasn't. A nurse walks in, and the scene changes. Instead of the nurse, it is the fairy queen, tall and lovely. She had come to offer Lily a sweet fruit, one she couldn't name. Lily took it with much gratitude, sick of the dull boring foods the nurse gave her. 
    The two talked and talked, and Lily didn't want this one to end. Sadly, though, all good stories have a ending, and soon Lily was back in her white room. The nurse was standing a ways off, looking at her with such a sad expression. It made Lily wonder why. If only the nurse could meet her fairy friends, she would fit right in. The fairies only allow pretty people in, since they are pretty themselves. That's why Lily could never stay long. She was never pretty enough. And now, she never would be. 


Peer Review

I like the plot and the crash into reality and even then it seems a bit surreal. Keeps the reader uncertain.


Lily's emotion really speak clearly, especially in the last line. If I had to name two emotions it's perhaps Hope and Despair


It makes the character more intriguing to the reader- It gave the story 'good' confusion as in it drew me in rather than lost me.


Reviewer Comments

First feedback so sorry if it's not great XD Think we are similar ages? Really liked the idea btw, although felt it need some description built up. I usually do that with my writing, first write the story with all the actions (the skeleton essentially) then go over to pump in the detail- although this piece would only need a little bit added in my opinion as improvement :) Really liked it though!