Peer Review by Cololo231 (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


A Letter To Love

By: The Bubbling Pen


FREE WRITING

Dear Love,
I usually begin letters with a word of thanks or friendly greeting, wishing the sir or madam a lovely day.
But to you, Love, I am at loss as to what to say.

Last year my class was deep in discussion, tittering on about the dilemma that was Romeo and Juliet.
Some students believed that Shakespeare was a lunatic, but most found words of comfort in his play.
Why did you send Cupid on his feathered, luckless wings into fair (yet feuding) Verona?
The lovers were bound to be blinded by their lust, come what may.

Two months ago I comforted a friend as she broke down by my side
over a bond-less crush, a heartless soulmate, a broken dream.
It turns out that from what I've seen and what I've heard,
you and Sadness form an invincible team.

Even though we mortals think of you as puffy clouds,
as cheeky kisses under a sun beam,
the reality is that you are nothing more than
a heart's true enemy as it rips with a scream.

So now that I have caught onto this pandemic,
this influenza that demolishes each and every wishing star...
I suppose I'll have to keep my distance
and watch my heartthrob from afar.

My letter to you, Love, is to ask
if you'd kindly step away from your friendly spar.
Please do not leave my beating chest
with the common - and terrible - memory scar.

There are people that I love and hold so very dear.
But since they are my family I'd appreciate it if you steered right clear.

Sincerely,
*correction*

Austerely,
A greatly vexed me.


Message to Readers

not my best work, but I hope you enjoyed it <3


Peer Review

It was a majesty. Every metaphor and every line captures everything about love, even though some lines did confuse me a bit.


Was the writer talking about "pandemic" also known as the "disease." I wonder what that's gotta do with the passage alone.


Reviewer Comments

It was a good piece. I like it from beginning to end and I still do find it quite charming. Nice work there.