AntChanel

United States of America

its ya boi

Message to Readers

I'm sorry.

Things I Did Wrong.

January 22, 2019

FREE WRITING

3
I was dating the user, most of you know her as queen elizzi, in real life. 
We wrote pieces about each other, which now that I think about it, was all I really wrote about.
But I did some bad things, things that cannot be fully refuted even if I tried.
When elizzi, or Izzi as she was known to me and tons of others, and I were dating, I was happy, or at least I tried to be.
But I lied, I kept so many things from her.
I kissed other girls, had a boyfriend as a predecessor, and..I was sort of a man-whore.
Nothing sexual ever happened, I made sure of that.

I finally told her a month ago, and she just broke down. 
God, I hate hearing her sobs ring in my head.

But she found another beau, one that I hope can treat her right. Not that I have much of a say.
She won't even speak or look at me. I get dirty looks from others.
But I deserve it.
All I want is her forgiveness. Nothing more.

Elizzi..or Elizabeth, as I now know.

Izzi.
If you ever set eyes on this, I'm sorry. 
 

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  • January 22, 2019 - 4:33pm (Now Viewing)

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7 Comments
  • AminahMcBina

    Hey,
    some people don't deserve forgiveness. And tbh, I feel for both you and Izzi. Because, we-humans aren't perfect. I'm not agreeing with any of the other comments, nor am I disagreeing. I don't know what to really tell you, because I've never been in a relationship, but I'll tell you, the way Izzi feels about you, I felt about my mom. I hated my mom with a passion. I couldn't stand her. At one point, I disowned her completely. I pretended she didn't exist. And when she tried apologizing for not being here for me, for being a total deadbeat mom, for being a whore, for not learning from her first mistake, when she had my brother at 15, my sister at 16, me at 17..and she kept making the same dumb mistakes---I didn't listen to her. I told her-literally this is what I told her when she called me for the first time 11 years, "I hate you. I wish you followed through with your plans to abort me. I don't ever want to talk to you. I hate you, and you can't ever get me to forgive you. You aren't my mom. Akeilah is. Ashley is. Alice is. Oh and I'm pretty sure your slut-ass doesn't know my dad, because if you did, I would. But if you ever miraculously find him, tell him I hate him too." With that I hung up. But guess what? I stil didn't forgive her, and I don't love her, but I don't hate her either. I recently moved in with her, and we're starting to adjust to each other. And like Izzi, I couldn't forgive someone who hurt me. And my mom, like you, understood her mistake. Apologized. And it takes heart to apologize. The only way someone can apologize is through sincerity. And this apology was so sincere, and I hope Izzi has seen it. AntChanel, just stop making your mistakes, and hopefully you and Izzi-probably won't be together again-but at least you two will make amends. She doesn't want to look at you--Don't try to be seen. She doesn't want to hear you--don't try to be heard. She doesn't want to be around you--don't come around. She needs time and space. You owe at least that to her. I'm sorry for whatever you two are going through.

    Your fellow writer,
    Mina


    10 months ago
  • green.eyes.gurl

    I'm just gonna say it and get to the point: You fucked up. You realize that. You aren't going to do it again. There! No need for what Blue and Anha and Angie were saying.


    10 months ago
  • janice

    Why this piece has likes is beyond me. I know what it's like to mess up so badly whole groups of people hate you... The best thing you can do is never do it again.


    11 months ago
  • Anha

    @Big Blue woof. idk why you're bringing this up again, man. it seems like everyone's already moved on and you're bringing this whole dilemma up again why?


    11 months ago
  • paperbird

    hey! glad to hear from you. i hope you can collect forgiveness. everyone's stupid at times.


    11 months ago
  • Big Blue

    Although Blue appreciates the "sentiment" in you posting this, and Blue is glad you feel marginally guilty for what you've done to hurt one of Blue's closest friends in this community, actions speak louder than empty words, and your words are emptier than a cup in a scorching desert. "Not that I have much of a say." Of course you don't, you absolute fool. It's her relationship. You hurt her. Why should she even bat an eye as to what you have to say about her relationships? In all honesty, what you did was unforgivable. Anyone in Izzi's point of view wouldn't have forgiven you at all. Hell, what do want Izzi to do? Accept your apology with flying colors, even though you broke her heart? Trust is something that is important to a person. You break that trust, and of course she isn't going to forgive you. If you were to take Blue's advice, you should delete all the pieces you have posted on this community. Make it seem as if you were never here in the first place. Move on, because Izzi already has. You're the only one hanging on, begging for an apology. Move. On. Live your life looking towards the future, not your disgusting mistakes from the past. An at least learn from your wrongdoings, too.


    11 months ago
  • pencils.and.paper.roses

    I’m really sorry, man. For both of you.


    11 months ago