I looked up at the clock. "5:00?!?! My parents would be home in an hour and I haven't even started on my homework!" I thought after school one day. This was something that had repeated many, many times: Get home early but didn't start on my homework until the last hour before my parents came home. Almost every day. 

In theory, if one gets home before 3 P.M. and has three hours to finish homework, most of it should be...

I brushed my achievements and accomplishments away, assuring myself I would allow praise after I had changed the world. Never would I have thought my first true reward I’d given to myself was for something imperfect. Years of school never betraying my 'perfect student' title and earning only a 4.0 GPA had passed. I looked upon the gradebook, delighted to see only the color green, (even though my favorite color is orange). Each painless test, evident homework assignment and...

She took my hand, 
pulled me so close. 
Wrapped me in her love, 
"I love you so much",
lovely sweet rose. 

I'm sorry, so sorry. 
I didn't appreciate. 
She gave me everything, 
but I didn't wait. 
I left her cuz I'm selfish, 
I came back. It's too late. 

"You're my reason to live" 
oh poor rose. 
I promised her, but I didn't keep it. 
"You're the only one for me", why did I say it?
Gave her false hope. 

Should...

    My whole life, I have had a dream, a single vision that kept me going even when everyone and everything else failed. A motivation, a life-goal, a reason. And for the longest time, that reason made sense.
    That dream was to live. I didn't have a crystal-clear idea for the future, but I knew what I wanted. I wanted to grow up, finish school and college, get a job, maybe find a family. I wanted to be happy,...

    To nearly everyone's surprise, the weather in the northeast is warmer than it has been all year, even though its August (at least where I live.) Usually July is the warmest month, but this year found me wearing sweaters then. Now, so close to Fall, T-shirts and shorts are the most comfortable. Nope, this isn't normal for around here, but change is something I've always enjoyed and accepted, so maybe it isn't so bad, after all.

    Lightning blazed outside the window, and for a split second the earth glowed with the light of a hundred lights. Thunder followed soon after, shaking the leaves on trees, almost threatening to uproot the oaks.
    The storm had been unpredicted, but not unwelcome. A drought had spread its reach for so long and so far that even a tempest to this degree was something to anticipate. 
    Rain pattered on the roof, clanging loudly against bricks and clay....

I wish I spent my days less alone
and yet more solitary

I wish I was braver
but not as rash

Stronger
but weak enough not to hurt anyone

Purer
but not naïve

Simple
and yet complex enough

 

It is leaning out a bedroom window, longing
It is dreaming of the impossible and finding it

It is breathing the dark air and feeling the night
It is hearing the song of the moon, of life

Oh how foolish of me to believe, 
why would I, for one second think you won't leave?

You're just like the rest of them, in your own ways...
I was warned a million times, 
but my heart for you blind it always stays. 
On myself I know I shouldn't be too hard,
after all you're smile for me, was rainbows and sunshine rays. 

It's still no excuse, I should've known better.
I'm not alone, but without you, I still suffer.   ...

My existential crisis is a funny thing. Funny in that 'bad-comedian-makes-a-horribly-rascist-joke' sort of way. Funny in that particular brand of funny that really isn't funny at all. (Except it sort of is, you'll see.)

The crisis started small. 
Me, my life, its purpose and direction, does anything I do actually matter. 
It kept to the nice little 'existential' category. 

Then it took a truly massive and completely unnecessary leap into space and the universe, breaking out of the 'existential' crisis...